Well That Was Over Fast- Ooh Look More Cuties!

There is something magical about the number three.

In Fish Stories I talked about my curious habit of counting sexual instances, hoping for that magical third time. It’s a guy thing, maybe, or perhaps some hidden insecurities are creeping up to whisper in my ear. Hildegard made it to the magical third time.

Then she dumped my ass.

Hildegard and I shared great connection as we first corresponded through email, and that same spark was still there when we met in person, plus a rather intense sexual attraction. You could have bottled the pheromones floating in the air around us.

Bayani could read this chemistry as easily as she reads every other emotional reaction of mine. And she didn’t like it. A strong emotional connection is one thing, but add in a fierce sexual attraction, and she was more than a little bit threatened. And then she met Hildegard for the first time. And she freaked out.

Bayani was being very accommodating, and had offered to take the kids out of the house to give Hildegard and I a few hours of alone time. Coincidentally, my mother was taking the kids overnight, so Bayani had an opportunity to drop them off and then head up to Beau’s house. She cried the entire way. I will let Bayani write about her reaction, as she knows much better than I what she was going through, and why. To her credit, she did not allow any of her negative reactions affect her behavior towards my new relationship with Hildegard. There was only so much I could do, was willing to do, to accommodate my wife’s reaction. On the one hand, I did not want to do anything to make her unhappy; but on the other hand, she might very well have this kind of reaction to any woman I chose to date. Bayani assured me this was just something she needed to work through, that while she was not fine at the moment, she would be. I trusted her and proceeded, keeping her emotional state in mind.

Hidlegard had never dated a married man before. I had told her that I would prefer she date other men while she was dating me, as I could only offer her so much. She was new to the whole polyamorous thing, but was open to exploring. Then she met this man in Denver, a man with whom she could share a much more intense personal connection than she did with me(they were both musicians, I have zero musical talent). Bit by bit, our talk shifted from geekery and politics and sexuality and religion, to pure sex. As this other man filled her need for an emotional connection, I began to fill only the sexual needs.

And the sex was fantastic.

Sorry Bayani, I know you don’t want to read this, but it was. Well, no more fantastic than the sex has been with any of the other women I have shared an intense emotional/intellectual connection with, and was not nearly as satisfying as it is with Bayani. And I was able to help Hildegard explore new things: she had never been spanked or tied up, and found with my help that she enjoyed both. She giggled the entire time I spanked her.

But she wanted more than just sex, she wanted a relationship. She fell in love with this man in Denver. A man she has never met, and would not meet for at least six more weeks. And once again, monogamy reared it’s ugly head. She chose him over me.

Damn.

Now, I want Hildegard to be happy, I really do. I hope things work out with Mr Denver, I hope she can be happy with him. But I can still lament the loss of a really awesome gall.

And so once again I find myself moving on, looking for another girl, another connection, another relationship. At the moment I have been corresponding with several women I have met online. Yesterday I met one for coffee, a lovely, quiet, deliciously curvy girl; and tonight after work I will be meeting another for a beer. Mrs Coffee is much more the type Bayani would want me to be with, less classically beautiful and more on the plus side of plus sized, but is absolutely my type and I find I am seriously attracted to her. She is also married and polyamorous, though they are new to the lifestyle and I would be her first male lover since her husband. Ms Beer is a few years older than I and is deep her super-libido phase,  is rather hot, and is also open to polyamory. She might be looking for more of a fuck buddy thing, which is not exactly what I want. It’s difficult to let go of the possibility of screwing an attractive, highly sexual woman. And honestly, it’s flattering that she is so interested in me. I will have to see what comes of our meeting tonight, if it’s just about physical chemistry and sex, I may have to pass.

Damn, it sucks to be mature.

*Update: Mrs Beer did not work out. Mrs Coffee did for a while, and had lovely massive boobs. At that time I also met Isadora, whom I dated for about a year and a half.*