A different side of things…PART ONE–guest post by Bayani

16 Aug

So Everyone knows who I am, right? I am the ever-loved wife of the long-suffering Myrddwyn.

Here’s my two cents about sleeping with another man. I had never really seriously considered having sex with a man that was not Myr before meeting Abernathy. We had talked about it in the past, joking about Tiberius and Alexander, but I had never been serious about considering it before. For some reason, I was very attracted to Abe, and told Myr as much.  I was experiencing what Myr likes to call my “on week” when I am pretty much sex crazed. I went out on a few platonic dates with Abe during this time and he seemed every bit as interested in me. I had made the decision that I was not going to revoke my OPP during this time, since I didn’t want to have this very large decision made by my hormones.
I spent some time thinking and talking with Myr. At the end of the “on week” I made the decision that I wanted to suspend the OPP, and see where the relationship with Abe went. It took a lot more than just talking to Myr. I was very torn. Did I want to continue being able to say I haven’t slept with another man since Myrddwyn? Was that an outdated expectation? What did this very large step into full fledged polyamory mean for me as an individual as well as us as a couple? I agonized over this decision. I started a journal just so that I could write down my thoughts in an effort to get them straight.

There’s the background.

From there things moved pretty quick. The following week  Abe and I went to the bar after derby practice, only this time, we went in one car, together. Not as many people came out, due to other commitments. Everybody that had joined us left by 11, leaving the two of us there together. Tipsy, but not fully drunk, we had many conversations about things that don’t matter. It was nice to spend time with him, just the two of us.  At some point, I became brave enough to kiss him. So I did. Kissed him, and kissed him, and kissed him some more. Leaning across the bar table, like a pair of twenty somethings that have had too much to drink. Then the bar closed, and we had to leave, so we walked out to his car and kissed even more. I was struck with the difference in kissing technique between Myr and Abe. Both were wicked fun to kiss, but in totally different ways.  Abe told me that he would never push me into anything until I had made a decision on OPP. I told him that I’d made a decision, but that I wasn’t quite ready to talk about the decision yet.  He was very understanding about that, and took me home. When I came home, Myr was sleeping, so I didn’t say anything, and just went to bed. The next day, he asked what had happened, and when I told him I had kissed Abe, has asked when I had planned to tell him. Well. I responded with a flippant “When my children aren’t listening to our conversation, of course.” He asked if I had liked it, and if I planned to do it again. Yes. I would like to do that more. Did he try to get further? Nope. Perfect gentleman.

Then came the second date a week or so later.  Abe was planning a vacation in Las Vegas, and we wanted to see each other before he left. We had been chatting online and over text quite a bit, and I had let him know that the OPP was suspended, but that I wan’t sure where that left me and him. We had planned to meet up and go skate with several of our mutual friends. They all cancelled due to a very visible oncoming storm. We went to Abe’s house with his roommate instead. Somehow, I was lured up to his room, which he called his “man cave”. Did I have a flare of nerves going up those stairs into his “man cave”? Hell yes. I had the distinct feeling that he wanted to test the edges of my decision, and see how far I would go, but he continued to let me take the lead.
Eventually, we decided that it would be more fun to watch a movie alone, and left his roommate (let’s call him PC) to watch Conan the Barbarian by himself.
We didn’t watch more than five minutes of the movie. There was kissing. Then there was more kissing, and touching, and his hands were everywhere I wanted them to be. Things got pretty heavy, and while I was enjoying every minute, it started to get a little heavier than I was ready for. Sadly, I had to put on the brakes, and stop before things went further than I was ready for. Okay, really I panicked. I had already been intimate with Myr that morning and Fanny that afternoon. I had a momentary flash of conscience that told me that sleeping with three separate people in one day was crossing some sort of line. Not to mention it scared me. I’d not been with another man since 1995, and things with Abe are pretty intense. Chemistry at work friends. Abe is an officer and a gentleman. He took it all in stride, and was actually very kind about it. We got ourselves sorted out and watched the last few minutes of what appeared to have been a pretty good movie, then I went home.

There is more to the story, and I will make a part two post when I am ready to talk more, but I think this is quite long enough for now.


2 Responses to “A different side of things…PART ONE–guest post by Bayani”

  1. Kasini August 16, 2011 at 11:35 am #

    I’m so glad you posted! I look forward to getting to read more of your perspective and insights as we go along.

    • bayanni August 16, 2011 at 5:07 pm #

      I’ll put up part two in a bit. It’s a little more intense for me, and I have to think a bit before getting it all down.

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