A different side of the story…Part two–guest post by Bayani

31 Aug

I guess I should go ahead and finish my story of confusion, attraction, and self examination.

After Abe and I had our little makeout session at his house, he went out of town for almost a full week. This gave me a lot of time to think about what it was that made me panic and whether or not I could go through with more.

After Abe came home from his vacation, we planned to meet up again. This time, I knew what I wanted, how far I could go, and was ready to accept the consequences. When I left the house, Myrddwyn stopped me and stuffed a condom in my pocket. Does that seem strange?  A man gives his wife a condom on her way out the door for a date with another man. Strange, yes. Polyamory is strange sometimes.

We didn’t have any concrete plans, again, because we are lame and just don’t make plans well. I met him at his house, took one look at his exhausted self, and decided that he’d be no fun if we went anywhere. We decided to stay in again. We went upstairs again, with the pretense of looking for a movie to watch. Through some unspoken mutual decision, we skipped that part and commenced with the kissing. I will keep the details to myself. I imagine that Myr doesn’t want the details, and none of y’all other readers need to know anyway. All I can say is that it was terrifying, exciting, and wonderful. I got the feeling that Abe was waiting for me to freak out and stop again, but I didn’t.

I came home late that night, and Myr was waiting with fifty million questions. He processes things by gathering every piece of information possible and then rolling it around in his mind. This would have been fine, except I hadn’t finished processing it myself.  I process things slowly, and all in my own mind. It takes me a little while to decide how I feel about most things. I use my emotions and intuition where Myr uses logic and reason. I was still riding the waves of emotion that come from intimacy, especially the first time with a new partner. Myr quizzed me about details that I wasn’t emotionally ready to answer. This is where the *minor* tiff came in. I downplayed a few differences between Abe and Myr. Some anatomical, some techique-related.  I KNOW Myr doesn’t like to be lied to. I still don’t feel like I lied. In all reality, what sane person….okay, let me start this question over…   Who would know how to respond to the question “So is he bigger than me?” when she hadn’t finished processing the fact that she has just slept with the first non-husband man in over 18 years? I admit. I responded with a not-the-whole-truth answer. I responded in the same way a man, when cornered by a wife, responds to the question “does this dress make my ass look fat?”  I was honest, but didn’t give all the facts. Myr got upset. This whole deal has been dealt with in a previous post. I felt a little attacked at the time, and was trying to be reassuring and honest, while letting Myr know that I still wanted to be with him, and still trying desperately to process this HUGE moment in my life. I understood his need for reassurance. I really did, and still do.

Since that day, I have always told Myr the total, brutal truth when he asks me questions. I don’t volunteer information, I don’t see the need to do that. I know more about his trysts with Kasini than he knows about mine, mostly because I read these posts too. if he asks a question, he gets an answer. Occasionally, he regrets asking that question. Sometimes we don’t really want to know the answer. Just like sometimes I regret reading these posts, especially when I get a couple of them in a row that are intense. These are the things we deal with as a polyamorous couple. There is still jealousy. We just know how to deal with it.

On top of all that drama, Abe got me sick that day. He didn’t KNOW that he’d brought home what has now been dubbed “the Vegas Plague”. He didn’t realize that the symptoms that seemed like normal allergies to him would knock me flat for two weeks. He didn’t know that I would then pass it to Fanny, and my daughters, and Myr, and a couple of my co-workers, making me feel  a little like Typhoid Mary. I have since made him feel sufficiently bad for that.

And so the drama continues. The aftershocks of this “affair” are just starting to hit the rest of my life, and I may post at a later date about what it has meant for Abe and me in our other circle of friends.

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4 Responses to “A different side of the story…Part two–guest post by Bayani”

  1. Sonata August 31, 2011 at 10:54 am #

    I really hope you will keep posting. They are not more (or less) interesting. It’s been lovely to read your perspective.

  2. Kasini August 31, 2011 at 1:06 pm #

    I agree with Sonata, I’m really happy you’ve posted, and I hope you post more. I hope you become a regular contributor because you have interesting things to say, a perspective that isn’t already on here, and I like your voice.

    • bayanni August 31, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

      Aw shucks. Thanks guys! I don’t have a very high opinion of my own writing, which is funny since I have three blogs now. I will keep posting. I am formulating my next post as we speak, I mean type!

      • Myrddwn August 31, 2011 at 7:34 pm #

        Heh, that little wife of mine expresses herself rather well, doesn’t she?

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