On Letting Go

26 Dec

Often times, My initial reaction to Bayani pushing the limits of our relationship or my comfort zone, is to clamp down with restrictions and rules.

I realize this is not a health behavior, and I am working on dealing with it. And I have found that the fewer rules I make, the more I let go, the happier I am in the end.

Most recently this came to the surface as Bayani and I were discussing how another couple(two, actually) were courting her as a Unicorn.

I was not happy about this. My wife is NOT a Unicorn. She is NOT a Hawt, Bi, Single Chick who will fuck a couple and leave.

One couple was made up of Abernethy and his girlfriend, who are still friends with us both, and the other was made up of Fanny and her current beaux. I didn’t outright tell her no, but I did insist that the only way I would be comfortable with her joining another couple, is if the female half was able to come join Bayani and I for a threesome as well. It didn’t have to actually happen, it just had to be allowed.

Partially I was jealous there was the possibility of her having threesomes while I had no such prospects on the horizon. I miss threesomes. I mean, I really, REALLY miss threesomes.

But I also have an intellectual problem with a couple that will court another partnered female yet refuses the possibility of her joining us. Hypocritical. After the whole incident with Kaliope I am a little sensitive to hypocracy. Fanny’s beaux insisted she not be allowed to play with Bayani and I, something she has done several dozen times and wishes to do again, and Abernethy refused to allow for the possibility of his girlfriend joining us, though in her case she was not interested. Two One Penis Policies in action.

I finally decided that it was not my place to put such restrictions on Bayani. I told her to go ahead if she wanted to. She knows I am seriously craving a threesome, and that I have issues with the hypocracy shown by both couples. I doubt anything will happen with Fanny and her beaux, as Bayani is not really attracted to him, and they may soon break up anyway. And once I stopping trying to control it, I found I really didn’t care if Bayani had a little fun on the side with Abernethy and his girl. I will admit to a little jealousy about the threesome, but I can deal with that.

Most importantly for me was the realization that once I let go I felt better. Every time I let go, relax a restriction, give up a rule, I feel better. We do have a few rules in place still. Always use a condom. No spending the night. Sex on the bed is ok but not in the bed.  This reserves a few special things just for us. Someday one of us may reach a point where we want to spend the night with our partner, or fluid bond with them. I will deal with deciding weather or not to relax control at that time.

I want her to be able to love and play freely. I want her to be happy. I want her to have fun. And if she decides playing with another couple makes her happy, then I want her to go for it, freely and without reservation.

It costs me nothing to allow this. I’m not losing out on anything. She’s happier, and I am better off.


One Response to “On Letting Go”

  1. Isadora December 26, 2012 at 9:42 am #

    Well, she is hawt. And bi.

    The threesome idea is still something I’m contemplating. More and more I like the idea just still working on the trust issues. I didn’t realize you were missing it that much. Hmmmm

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