She Does It, Why Not Me? or To Shave, Or Not To Shave

9 Sep

I was at this party last month, one of those wild ones with bottles of absinth lounging about in sexy poses and a pile of discarded and empty clothing on the table, when the condition of my pubic hair became the topic of conversation.

Well, this was a bit classier than that, this was no orgy, just a wild party. It was a Corset and Glamor party, with a select crowd who could be trusted to behave a safe and non threatening drunken and debacherous manner.

I walked out to check on the stew of lovely ladies simmering in the hot-tub, and this new friend of ours, let’s call her Peaches, loudly demanded to know why I refused to trim my pubes.

The hot tub conversation had somehow wandered to grooming habits, and Fanny(our Unicorn) had lamented that I did not shave, nor even trim my crotch jungle. I was startled by this question, but replied honestly that my wife didn’t like me bald. They all had opinions on male pubic hair, both the girls and boys tangling together in that hot tub. Especially Fanny.

There are a lot of strong opinions when it comes to pubes. Some people like them natural, the way god/evolution made us, some folk like their genitals bald and beautiful, some people don’t think much about it and yet still others attach a great deal of political and social importance to how you groom yourself.

It turns out Fanny really did not like me au natural. I can understand, I have strong opinions on pussy(the less hair the better), but why had she waited a year and a half to voice her opinion?

It came down to a miscommunication between my wife and I.

After my vasectomy I shaved everything. I figured I was halfway there from the procedure already, and since I asked that Bayani shave for me, what the hell, let’s see what this feels like. I kinda liked it, but Bayani hated it. So I let it grow out, and somehow assumed she didn’t like the idea of me trimmed either. I had told Fanny as much.

But once Fanny’s preference was known, I found out Bayani wasn’t bothered by trimmed pubes, just hairless cock. So I whipped out my trusty beard trimmer, and I hacked away like shaping a topiary. Not right there at the party, mind you, this was the following day in the safety of my own bathroom.

I also recently found out that Abe shaves, and that Bayani likes that on him. Not on me, though. I pointed out this was capricious and arbitrary, and she agreed. He’s bald and she likes him the way he is, I trim now and she likes me the way I am. She compared it to my opinion on what type of panties I like best(the kind I am pulling off a woman at that moment), she likes us each as we are.

It turns out Kasini refuses to have an opinion on the matter. Whatever makes her partners feel sexy is fine by her. She’s gona like you for who you are, dammit, hairy or not. At yet another party, where I was more familiar with the beer than the people, I became involved in a conversation on vagazzling(Decorating your vagina with glue-on sequins and glitter). There was a woman who thought that conveyed genital shame. You should love your genitals for exactly who they are on the inside, I guess. I thought that a bit extreme, if it makes you feel sexy, then where is the harm? Kasini agreed with me on this one. But this woman at the party, she held the position that if you did not like your genitals hairy and natural, then you were a bad person, superficial and materialistic. She insisted you could not be a feminist if you liked bald twat, that shaving and waxing were nothing more than repression of natural female beauty.

Really? So, when I look at a beautiful(and they are ALL beautiful) shaven pussy with appreciative lust then I am a misogynistic bastard? I might be able to understand that position if I had ever turned away in disgust from a hairy pussy. You can prefer blonds over brunettes, chicken over beef, sunsets over sunrise, but why then, is a preference for bald snatch bad? Is this any different than liking your men clean shaven? And this woman had no answer for why she pierced her ears or wore a bra and makeup.

I prefer women with long hair. I like glasses. I like curvy girls. Punks and goths and hippies and librarians. I like sun dresses and leather jackets and combat boots. I like jeans and sweaters and flip flops. A close friend of mine has a definite preference for short hair and kimonos. We both like red heads. These are just things we happen to enjoy. We don’t judge our mates by how they live up to those preferences. Are these preferences wrong? Am I being superficial for having them? I also like smart women, educated women, opinionated women. So am I repressing the dumb and the ignorant and the milquetoast?

If a friend offered me a shot of vodka, would I refuse because I prefer bourbon? Hell no. If a curvy, red-headed punk girl flirted with me, would I dismiss her advances because she had short hair? Hell fucking no. Would I ever refuse to eat a hairy beaver? Hell no, I would dive the hell out of that muff. But would I enjoy a shot of Kentucky Bourbon or pulling luxurious long hair or a nicely waxed crotch-clam just a little bit more?


So yes, I like smoothly waxed or shaven pussy. It looks different. It feels different. There is just more skin to kiss and lick and slurp. And honestly, that a partner takes that time to groom themselves for me is a turn on. Now that I know Fanny has such a preference, I make sure I take the time to do that for her.

I look around at society, and I see that men are allowed to be hairy, with fur on their faces and chests and backs and legs and everywhere else, while women are expected to be smooth and hairless just about all over. Exceptions are certainly there, men who manscape and women who don’t shave anything, but often both are ridiculed being pansy or metrosexual, hippie or militant feminazzi dyke. I happen to have long hair. Hippie long, Jesus long, stuck in the 90’s grunge long. I like how I look with long hair, I like that women want to run their fingers through it, I like what it communicates about my political and religious stance. There is no mistaking me for a conservative Republican Mormon. How is a haircut any different that not shaving your legs? Are we just more accustomed to long haired hippies? Or perhaps there is an association with with the gay and lesbian community that some loud mouthed bigoted talk show hosts like to exploit. Ah, now we are getting into some serious discussion, something that should be discussed more in depth. I am talking about bald beaver not the socio-economic repression of women by an entrenched patriarchy.

I like it. I like it a lot. I love it when a partner shaves or waxes for me. I don’t complain when they don’t. Taking off underwear to reveal a shaven pussy is just as hot as taking off pants to find no underwear at all. Both are expressions of sexuality to me, both say ‘I made myself pretty for you’ in a way that make up or a nice hairstyle or new high heels can’t. To me, a woman shaving does not convey genital shame, it is a celebration of pussy, a proud statement of sexuality. I want you to look at me and appreciate what I am offering you. So I look, and I appreciate.

And now I make that effort for my partners. Bayani likes it, Fanny loves it, and I have to admit that I kinda like it too. And yes, it does make it look bigger.


7 Responses to “She Does It, Why Not Me? or To Shave, Or Not To Shave”

  1. Myself September 9, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    Loved this post! Actually I think my opinion of you (based solely on your writing here) has raised significantly since your “It’s Not Vulgar” post.

    It’s a surprisingly complex issue I think. I prefer the notion that a person can decorate/adorn/depilitate their body however they like, but that there shouldn’t be pressure for them to HAVE to do that, for them to feel that their body hair is unsexy or unfeminine or whatever. Which I think is pretty much what you’re saying, but you’re naming your own preferences too. Of course there is pressure/marketing in society for people to look a certain way, but I’m not into conforming for the sake of conforming.

    • Myrddwn September 9, 2011 at 11:35 pm #

      That sums it up fairly well. I like what I like and here it is. And there are all kinds of opinions on my opinions, from several extremes. Society has an expectation, and there are those within our society that push to counter that expectation, and neither allow for individual preference.
      This issue seems to mirror the one I brought up in my ‘It’s Not Vulgar’. I like what I like, and here it is. And there are all kinds of opinions on my opinions, from several extremes. Society has an expectation, and there are those within our society that push to counter that expectation, and neither allow for individual preference.
      Huh, there seems to be a common thread running through my writing…
      Thank you for taking the time to comment!

  2. Myself September 10, 2011 at 7:09 am #

    Just wanted to clarify that the “It’s not vulgar” post was when my opinion of you began to change for the better 🙂

    And yes, I like what I like, though I think that my preferences are more like Kasini’s.

    • Myrddwn September 10, 2011 at 8:30 am #

      Yeah, I think there are some readers who do not quite understand my humor, and that is why I chose to write this post, to clarify. I know sometimes I can come across as an arrogant ass, that is my wry attempt at humor. Those who know me in real life can verify I am not arrogant, nor am I even remotely assey. Unless I am drunk…

      • Kasini September 10, 2011 at 9:16 am #

        you’re just very opinionated and very… confident on those opinions.
        I wonder if the problem is that you’re a white, heterosexual male who is also a “dominant” and thus on the surface you don’t read as much different from a white heterosexual male all oblivious to how wrapped up in social privilege white heterosexual “dominant” males are. And so you say things that reinforce that, but you’re saying them to be funny and because they’re NOT what you are, but you say them with such a straight face… those of us who know you think it’s funny because we’re in on the joke. Those of us who don’t know you think it’s assey.

        And, of course, sometimes you DO get tripped up in your own privilege. Just like sometimes I get tripped up in my white privilege, or in my socialized feminine passivity, or my abuse history and the years of “All Men Are Assholes” that followed it (and is also culturally inscribed). We’re all learning here as we go.

  3. Kasini September 10, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    It’s not that I refuse to have an opinion. It’s that I genuinely don’t have an opinion (and you can’t MAKE ME!)

    No, I actually, really, truly don’t care about what others do with their hair down there. I once had a woman who was hoping to be a lover of mine and her often-repeated, anxious questions about how I wanted her to be down there ended up totally turning me off.

    I wax, but I don’t really care for how it looks on me, I’m going after the way sex feels when I’m waxed. I figure the aesthetics will grow on me.

    • Myrddwn September 10, 2011 at 10:21 am #

      Oh c’mon, you have to give me SOME artistic license! If everything we wrote were LITERALLY true it would not be very interesting, now would it?

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