8 May

Moms are hot. Seriously, I am attracted to moms. Not like some weird prego fetish, it’s that at this point in my life, the women I am attracted to are almost always mothers.

Oh, I certainly respond physically to hawt young things, but given a choice, I do have a preference for women in their thirties with kids over twenty-two year old scene girls. Younger women rarely have anything interesting to say.

There are mothers, and then there are mothers. In our party crowd, there are a couple of Hawt Young Scene Girls. Sisters, actually, and one of them is a mother. They are Hawt with a capital Boner, yet I’m not the least bit interested in either. They are scene girls, interested in music and drinks and clothes and partying late, and we have nothing to talk about. They are nice enough, generous and smart, and they like everybody, don’t get me wrong, they are good people. But when they start talking, my interest wanders. Even the one with a kid. That is more accurate, she is not a mother, she has a kid. She works hard to provide for him, and she loves him fiercely. But when asked for words that define her, Mother is not one of them. Father is the first word that comes to mind when I describe myself, followed by Husband, Writer, Carpenter and Cook.

Attraction is not just physical, there are inner traits one can be attracted to, and there has to be common interests. Women who define themselves as mothers are simply more attractive to me, like women who define themselves as Geeks, Skeptics, Liberals or Book Lovers.

Ten years ago, while working on a lengthy historic renovation, a fellow carpenter told me to beware having children. Your wife, he said, will no longer be your wife, she will become the Mother of Your Children. And that changes everything.

I thought he was warning me, telling me that once we had children together, our relationship would no longer exist and all that would remain would be the children. I dismissed his ramblings, as those of a crazy old man. He was a crazy old man, with lots of loony theories the rest of us used to laugh at.

But he was right. Just not in the way I thought he was.

Having children turned out to be the best decision I ever made. I love my children more than anything else in the world. Even more than than my wife. Bayani used to be Number One, now she is Number Three, behind my two infuriating daughters who are tied for position One.

There are people who get upset when I tell them this, somehow interpreting that I love Bayani less than I did before the kids. I love her more. There is just something else I love even more than that; something she gave to me.

I love her more than I did before the kids because she gave them to me. She became more herself when she became a mother.

She is the mother of my children. She is a geek, a sceptic, a liberal and most definitely a book lover.

Bayani is most definitely a Mother I Like to Fuck.


7 Responses to “MILFs”

  1. Bayani May 8, 2011 at 2:31 pm #

    AAAAAWWWWW! I like to fuck you too Myr. Thanks for helping me make those infuriating children.

  2. Kasini May 9, 2011 at 9:16 pm #

    this was really nice to read. Particularly since I’ve been feeling really… unappealing right now.

    Thanks for reminding me that there are people out there who like (overly) curvy, skeptically spiritual, nerdy, geeky, introverted, pinko mothers. I just need to find them…

  3. gypsygrrl July 20, 2011 at 12:29 pm #

    Kasini ~ you are amazing and awesome and lovely. 🙂

    that is all.

    • Myrddwn July 21, 2011 at 11:03 pm #

      Yes, she is amazing and awesome and lovely, though sometimes I think she forgets or doubts.

      • Kasini July 22, 2011 at 8:01 pm #

        dude, I’m standing right here.

      • Myrddwn July 24, 2011 at 9:53 am #

        Would you have preferred I say you were a stinky poo head and I don’t like you? Sorry, can’t do that. You get awkward compliments.

      • Chicory July 25, 2011 at 7:55 pm #

        no, I turn genuine and heartfelt compliments into truly awkward moments. It’s my special gift.

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