On Boundaries

21 Mar

We attended another wild party the other night.  Not nearly as debacherous as the one Kasini attended, but still fun.  Lots of boobies.  And we moved a little further towards testing our boundaries.  Mostly just in the theoretical discussion area, but I still feel this step deserves discussion here, as I am chronicling our journey.

As usual Bayani, Fanny and I had our little three-way fun before the party.  Apparently it was not enough, or they were simply both in a mood, for they were both on one last night.  They were both highly affectionate with each other, and anyone else within reach.  Lots of making out.  Once again poor little Tiberius was caught between them.  As was our friend Alexandre.  And Brutus.  And Minerva.  Sadly, I had worn myself out from several long, hard days of labor in the yard, and was not up for a second round after the party.  So, they played, they flashed their boobies, they kissed everybody.  They had a good time.  On the way home, Fanny shyly asked us what we would think if she slept with Tiberius or Alexandre.  I told her to go for it, as did Bayani.  I believe my exact words were ‘I don’t own your vag.’  She was simply trying to be considerate of the fact that we are good friends with both of the potentially lucky young men.  I appreciated the gesture, but to me, as long as she is open about who she sleeps with, it doesn’t bother me at all if I know them or not.

Bayani, who was still a little bit de-inhibited at that time then announced that we have all pretty much agreed that we can fuck whomever we want.  This was a new attitude from my wife.  She then decided that I would probably have some issues with her sleeping with either Tiberius or Alexander, for the same reasons Fanny did.  She was wrong.

I have been pondering this for some time.

Driving home after my first time alone with Fanny, I had an epiphany.  I knew, logically, that fucking Fanny without Bayani in the room would not affect how I felt towards my wife.  Experiencing it was a different matter entirely.  I was right, my feelings for Bayani did not change one iota.  But what was really interesting, was the simultaneous realization that if Bayani fucked another man, or woman, that would not changer how she felt towards me.  Interestingly, Alexander was hanging out with Bayani while I was at Fanny’s, and they got to second base.

So at this point, it seems that Bayani has more reservations about sex with other men than I do.  Hell, I would probably ask Tiberius or Alexander how it was.

“Yeah, she’s good isn’t she?  Did she do that thing with her tongue? Nice.”

And I think I would actually have an easier time with he sleeping with people she already has a friendship with.  Tiberius or Alexander would actually be easier for me to handle than a complete stranger or online hook-up.

I do have some hard boundaries for her, though.  Condoms are a must.  I have had a vasectomy, and she is not on birth control.  If she got knocked up, I don’t know how well I could handle that.  And there are diseases to consider.  And to be honest, I don’t like the idea of another man’s jizz contaminating my play-ground.  A condom clad cock is fine.  I wear a condom every time with Fanny, and would with any other woman I take as a lover.  And of course, I know I would not like it if Bayani turned me down for sex because she just had her brains fucked out by someone else.  I have never turned her down after a date with Fanny.  This seems reasonable to me.  Any thoughts?

I think Bayani might even have a little trouble with me not being more possessive of her pussy.  It’s not that I don’t care who she lets into it.  It’s that I, and what I have with her, am not threatened by her taking another lover.

I trust that she will still want what I have.  I trust that she will not want to replace me with another cock.  I trust that she will not bring home a disease.  And she trusts me.

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3 Responses to “On Boundaries”

  1. Bayani March 21, 2011 at 8:48 pm #

    Here’s my $0.02. I am still learning where the boundaries lie with me. I don’t think I’m having trouble with the idea that Myrrdwn isn’t threatened. I think I actually like that. I am just still dealing with programming from my childhood in a very restrictive faith. I know that I am not threatened by Myr with another woman, as long as we (or at least he) are in a reasonable facsimile of a stable relationship with her. Me being with a different man is a whole different animal in my mind. Another woman, I caould go out and be with another woman, another man…Myr’s straight. He’s not into the idea of another man. We couldn’t share another man, even if I was into the idea. This is fine with me, but it presents a mental stumbling block. For now, the one penis policy stands.

    • Kasini March 22, 2011 at 11:12 am #

      and the things with boundaries, I think, is that it’s really important to be as honest as you can about them. Especially as honest as you can be with yourself. And don’t push through them just because you think you should. Unless you’d like to push through them FOR YOURSELF.

      And, of course, I’m saying this because it’s something I’m learning about myself right now…

    • Myrddwn March 23, 2011 at 9:27 am #

      I’m fine with that. As long as you understand that I am not pushing you towards that one penis policy.
      This does bring up the question of why does a partner need to be shared? I doubt Bayani would be ok with my being with a woman outside of a triad, a woman she did not share with me. I’m not looking for this right now, or even pushing her to be accepting of that. But that is the next step for us, to each have a lover/partner outside of the primary marriage relationship. For me, I don’t think I could have casual sex. It would need to be someone I could have a connection with. Same with Bayani.
      It’s taken us years to get to this point, and will likely take years to go any further. If we ever do.

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