A Nice Pair of One-Night-Stands

15 Feb

Finding Unicorns, it turns out, is relatively easy for us. It also turns out that not all Unicorns are created equal.

Between Carlotta and Fanny, there were Daphne and Esther. Both girls were one night stands, one by our choice, one by hers. There was an incident with a cat, some squirting, and dime bag of coke.

Both girls were exactly my type: curvy, bi and horny. It doesn’t matter where we met them, they chose us from amongst dozens if not hundreds of other Unicorn Hunters, and we thought ourselves lucky. We dated each a few times, and decided we liked them enough to invite them into our homes, mistaking simple lust on our part for compatibility.

On the second date with Daphne, we all drank a little too much sake with dinner and decided we didn’t want to wait for a third date, so we came back home and opened our good bottle of tequila. It didn’t take long for clothes to start to fly. It turns out Daphne was a squirter. This was a new experience for me, but I didn’t mind. I liked it. Well, once Daphne was done, I pried myself out from between her thighs to where she and Bayani were kissing, and told her to go down on my wife.

‘I can’t’, she explained, ‘I’m feeling pukey.’ So she got up and ran to the bathroom, leaving Bayani and I to finish op on our own. We did, and after Daphne came out of the bathroom, she promptly passed out in our bed. She left the next afternoon as soon as she woke up.

Now, we knew Daphne was into smoking weed. We didn’t care at the time, we just needed to feed our own addiction. I did, however, tell her that I would not allow any drugs in my house or near my children. Shortly after she left, I found her discarded packet of coke in my bathroom. I confronted her about it, and she explained that she ‘thought I was cool with it.’ Whatever gave her that idea?

That was it, she was done. No more Daphne.

After that was Esther. She was much more our type. Tattoos and peircings, no drugs, and she had a great kid. We took a bit more time before letting this one into our home, having learned our lesson with Daphne. Three dates, that was our new rule.

It took four or five dates to get Esther into bed. We didn’t mind, her kid got along great with ours, and we really liked her.

Getting her into our bedroom was difficult because she didn’t have any sitter available. So we decided to have her bring her kid over for a ‘sleepover’. We thought it would be fun for the kids.

Not so much fun for us, it turns out.

Esther and her daughter lived with her father in a tiny little trailer, where she and her daughter shared a bed. The daughter found it impossible to sleep in a strange setting without her mother to cuddle.

The three of us were in the living room drinking and smoking hookah, desperately waiting for that damn kid to fall asleep. By midnight, our skin was crawling.

Now, we have this cat. He is a great cat, a Maine Coon who just loves people, especially kids. A great big fluffy cat with a purr that will put anybody to sleep. And he likes big boobs. He was sitting in Esther’s lap, rubbing himself against her in ways I envied. I told him, ‘If you were a good cat, you would go in there and put that kid to sleep.’ I barely noticed when he jumped off her lap and wandered off. I also failed to notice him making his way down the hallway to the kid’s room. Five minutes later, the kid was asleep, curled up with the greatest cat in the world.

We didn’t hesitate; we tore each other’s clothes off and dove into bed. It didn’t take long, we were all pretty desperate at that point.

Esther and her daughter enjoyed a nice breakfast the next morning before they left. We never say them again. Although Esther was involved with the Poly community, she decided to settle down with this one guy she was dating who wanted her all to himself. That happens a lot, it turns out.

So there you have it, drugs, squirting, and the greatest cat in the world.

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2 Responses to “A Nice Pair of One-Night-Stands”

  1. Bayani February 15, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    Not kidding about that, greatest cat ever. The sex wasn’t all that great, and I guess she felt the same way. I actually DO run into her from time to time. She is in a great relationship with a different guy than the one she left with. More power to her. Her kid remains cute. The other story…well, I’d prefer to leave that whole situation behind me. Sake and Tequilla make bad decisions.

    • Kasini February 15, 2011 at 10:47 pm #

      I’m surprised that Sake and Tequila even talk to each other.

      But, hoo boy, Greatest. Cat. Ever. Takin one for the team!

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