You want me to put it WHERE?

26 Jan

Damn, we’ve coma a long way. We used to be vanilla. Very, very vanilla. Oh, I’m not complaining, sex back then was good. It was damn good. It was fucking good–and I don’t mean that in the non-ironic literal sense, I mean that in the extreme adjective sense. We were Vanilla Bean, Double-Cream, Slow Churned Dreyer’s Ice-Cream kind of vanilla.

We weren’t into bondage, hair pulling, rough sex or talking dirty, and polyamory and threesomes were still new and exciting. And we were definitely not into anal sex.

And then we met Deirdre.

We never did sleep with Deirdre; she flaked out on us at the last moment. She was the first girl to do that on us. We would have been her first threesome, her first full contact with another woman. And she wanted it in the ass.

For my wife Bayani, the ass was a No Fly Zone, it was a One Way Only Exit. If I ever strayed even slightly close to her ass, even by accident, she would tense up and push me away, and that was it. Game over.

I didn’t mind, I had no interest in her pooper. Why would I? I mean, there was a perfectly good pussy right there, why bother with a dirty, smelly, uncomfortable ass-hole? Her pussy had been designed by millions of years of selective evolution to feel as good to me as humanly possible, and her but had not.

Deirdre was the first girl I had ever met who actually wanted it in the ass. Until then, I had no idea a woman would like that. I thought they just put up with it, wincing through the pain, for the love of their man. But according to Deirdre, the only way she could achieve orgasm, was through anal sex.


Now, there is nothing I enjoy more than pleasing my partner. I will go to any length to get a woman off, and I will enjoy every second of it. Nothing is more arousing to me than watching a woman’s face as she comes. Well, if I was going to be with Deirdre, I had better learn to like anal sex. It was like I suddenly had permission. So I found a few pornos featuring back door action, and I got really turned on by it. Well, this was new.

Then Deirdre flaked out, and left us with a sudden unfulfilled interest in anal sex. Yes, us. Turns out she had been talking to Bayani, and guess who was curious?

We started playing around a little, taking it slow at first. A little teasing, then one finger, but only in halfway! Then a whole finger, then my thumb, two fingers, my rock-hard cock(and I’m  not small), and most recently but plugs. She even recently shyly admitted to me that she enjoys her little vibrator up there. It took her three months to cough up that little gem.

I have to admit, I fucking love it. I love having my finger in her ass, feeling her muscles clench as I lick her. I love making her squirm at the sensation of being filled. I love looking down and seeing my cock in her ass. I love that I can turn ten minutes of cunnillingus into two if I finger her ass while I do it. I fucking love the feeling of sliding into her love canal with a big, fat silicon but plug filling her rear entrance. I love, love love that she likes to take up the ass.

Now, I’ve been having sex with this woman for sixteen years. I know her, I know her body, I know her reactions, and I know her orgasms. I can tell how good it is for her, by how far down she blushes. If the blush never leaves her face, it’s just a little one, barely worth our time. If it reaches all the way down her neck, I know it was decent. Down to her tits? That was really good one. If she blushes down to the bottom of her tits, then it was damn good one and I know I can lay back, hands behind my head, and say proudly ‘yes mam, you’re welcome!’. The only time she has ever blushed all the way down to her belly button, is from a hot and sweaty, no holds barred but-fucking.

Thank you Deirdre, where ever you are.


4 Responses to “You want me to put it WHERE?”

  1. Kasini January 28, 2011 at 11:34 am #

    sigh. you know I have issues around butt secks. Oh, I can dish it out, but BOY HOWDY do I have a hard time admitting that I like any sort of play around that area.

    And yes, it’s because of teh GERMZ! ZOMG!

    I am a girl who’d like to pretend that I never shit.

    I don’t! I really don’t! That’s a dirty lie! Everything about me is sweet smelling. Milk and honeh.

    See? I made it through this whole comment without admitting that I like any play around that area! Whoo hoo!

  2. Myrddwn January 28, 2011 at 11:51 am #

    Well, I’m glad you managed to not openly admit you like anal play. I would hate for anybody to get that impression, even from, I don’t know, reading between the lines?

    • Kasini January 28, 2011 at 12:05 pm #

      as long as they’re not reading between the cheeks!

      • Myrddwn January 28, 2011 at 12:41 pm #


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