The Nipple Ring Story

12 Jan

It started with a turkey-sandwich moment. You know, when you have two girls in your bed and they are so busy going at it, that you could get up and make a turkey sandwich and they would never notice you were gone.

My wife Bayani and Girl Number Two, lets call her Babette, were busy pleasing each other while I watched, when the kid started to cry. Now, I could have jumped in again at any moment, but as this was Round Number Two, I didn’t mind relaxing a bit to watch the show. As I was the odd man out, quite literally, I got up to quiet the kid fully convinced they would not notice my absence.

It took a few minutes to get some milk and get the kid back to sleep, maybe ten to fifteen minutes. I didn’t worry, I knew those two lovely ladies in the next room could get me going again within moments. So I sauntered back into the bedroom, fully expecting to walk into the lesbian porno right where I left off. I figured I would watch for a bit, allow myself to get hard, then find a nice wet place to stick it.

Boy was I wrong.

They were giggling. I don’t mean the little ‘tee hees’ of ‘we’re drunk and doing something naughty’, I mean great big, rolling on the floor paralyzed with laughter giggling. It was not nearly as sexy as the scene I hoped to find.

It took several more un-sexy minutes to calm them down and find out what had happened.

Somehow, Babette had noticed that one of her nipple rings had fallen out. These were not the cute little mall piercing you might think, they were serious piercings. No, they weren’t gauged up either, I just want you to understand that these were serious barbell piercings with screw on ends, well made and not prone to pop off like those cheep plastic ones. And somehow one had worked itself loose and fallen out. The whole thing, not just the screw on end.

They spent almost ten minutes looking for it. All over the bed, on the floor and under the bed, in the pile of clothes he had peeled off each other an hour before, everywhere. They could not find it. Then for some odd reason, Bayani thought to herself ‘maybe it’s in my belly button’. I don’t know why this thought popped into her head; I’ve learned not to question the origin of Bayani’s thoughts any more.

Sure enough, nestled comfortably in my wife’s belly-button was Babatte’s surgical steel barbell.

For whatever reason they found this hilarious, and once one of them started giggling the other started and then it was both of them on the floor rolling around in exactly not the way I had hoped.

I was not amused.

A few deep breaths to calm them down, another round of shots just for fun, and they quickly made up lost time.

I have tried to convince Bayani to get her nipples pierced several times since then(because I like piercings, not because of this instance), and she refuses. I suspect that she fears loosing a piercing only to find it again later somewhere less mundane than a bellybutton.

I think that might be fun.

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2 Responses to “The Nipple Ring Story”

  1. Kasini January 14, 2011 at 5:33 pm #

    I think this is hilarious. Particularly because you were Not Amused. I’ve never seen you Not Amused, but I can ALMOST picture it…

  2. Myrddwn January 16, 2011 at 5:05 pm #

    Yeah, apparently the look of dejected confusion on my face sent them off into a second round of giggles.

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