‘If you bring her home, I’ll do her’

2 Jan

I won’t start out with a tale as juicy as Chicory’s. You will just have to come back regularly to catch all of my dirty little stories. No, to start out I will tell of how my wife Bayani and I started being polyamorous.

It started with eight little words: ‘If you bring her home, I’ll do her’.

Bayani was my high school sweetheart, and we had been married for over ten years at that point. I have always known she is bi-sexual, but I just never managed to fall into that magical fantasy of two girls at the same time.

I didn’t want to push her into it. I did not want her to feel that my only goal was to have sex with another woman. But I still fantasized. All men do. Any man who says otherwise is lying. Maybe even to himself. But me, I think I dreamt about it more than most. I mean, here I was with a sexy, bisexual woman as a wife. I admit it, I got my hopes up.

I told her I wanted her to feel comfortable with exploring her sexuality, and that if she ever wanted to experiment, I would be happy to let her. Quite the generous and understanding husband, wasn’t I? She told me she was happy with her life and choices, and felt no need to explore. Dammit.

That’s sort of like living with a masseuse who insists they don’t need to practice at home. Or like living with a professional sushi chef who claims they don’t feel the need to ever make sushi again. It was agonizing.

Well, not really. I was happy with our sex life, and had a very, very vibrant fantasy life. I did spend a lot of time teasing my wife about it. At every office she worked in, she invariably came to be friends with the girl with the nicest curves. And I like curvy girls. Oh, I like them all, but curvy girls are something special. So I would often joke about how much fun it would be if she brought home ‘Abbey’ or ‘Becky’ or ‘Christine’. She would laugh and tell me ‘no’.

Then, after ten years of marriage, she gave me a different answer. It changed my life. It was the hottest thing I have ever heard a woman say(Not the best thing I have ever heard her say, just the hottest- no, the best was ‘I’m pregnant’). She told me that her co-workers were off limits, as were her friends, but if I wanted it so damn badly, then I could very well find a girl myself, and if I brought her home, the she would do her.

I got up, logged on, and started searching.

A week later, we met our first girl. But that is another post(I have to save the dirty details for later to lure you back here).

It turns out that Bayani had been missing the soft touch of a woman for quite some time, but simply did not feel comfortable giving voice to that desire. That happens often with my wife. As she explores her sexuality and the pleasures of perversions, she finds expressing new desires difficult. So she tricked me. She yoked my enthusiasm to serve her needs. I’m afraid I’m easy to trick. I did all the work. I joined the sites, deal with the spam, and I am the ones to find the girls. She retains veto rights. I had to learn to approach a bi girl without being creepy. I had to learn what all the other Unicorn Hunters were doing, so we could be different. Bayani just had to say ‘yes’. Not that I’m complaining.

I have since learned a few new words, like Polyamory and Unicorn Hunters. We have learned that we are polyamorous, and while we enjoy relationships outside of our marriage, we do not need them to define our happiness or to spice up our marriage. It’s spicy enough, thank you very much, and just gets spicier every day. We have learned that sadly, yes, we were Unicorn Hunters during the first few months. No longer.

We have come a long way since then, every step of the way initiated by my wife shyly admitting to some new desire or fantasy, and each step punctuated by bouts of self realization and personal growth. It’s no longer about the threesomes.

I hope to share some of our stories here. Some will be juicy(although I have never accidentally fisted anybody, in any orifice), and some will be more poignant. Some posts will be rambling discussion on my fetishes and some will be ranting tirades on the nature of morality and how damaging repressive religions can be to society.

And sometimes, I will just brag about how I get to have kinky three-way sex.

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